trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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