your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
