Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
