idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
