Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
