i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
