Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize