Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
