Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
