Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
