I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
