Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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