Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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