i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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