U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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