Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen

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(318): View more from Louisiana

i was rollin on her like bob the builder

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(214): View more from Texas

we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.

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(713): View more from Texas

I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.

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(614): View more from Ohio

Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.

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(269): View more from Michigan

All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.

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(917): View more from New York City

I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.

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