I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I had to cum in my sink.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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