did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
this boner is exhausting
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
