We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize