two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
