Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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