So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
