3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
