From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
