its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
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