So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
