I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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