apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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