I can tuck mytits in my pants
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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