she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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