i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
