I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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