it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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