Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
