Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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