garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just pee around me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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