kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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