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  • 81 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 5:14pm

    WE ARE......MARSHALL!!!!

  • 85 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 6:37pm

    I think Dave sent this message

  • 74 59
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 6:58pm

    FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

  • 80 72
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 1:09pm

    Haha this is amazing. Once my friend dialed in "7-1-1" into the microwave to try to call 7-11 to deliver us slurpies.

  • 75 70
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 7:53pm

    So that's why my BAC was going down so fast?

  • 71 64
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 8:12pm

    Take me home...country roads...

  • 70 66
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 8:05pm

    I studied 21 years for my BAC test and still failed.

  • 75 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 12:56am

    How about just grabbing a joke book? Definately a good place for you to start.

  • 70 68
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 5:12pm

    is textsfromlastnight getting a little less shitty? or should i not get my hopes too high?

  • 71 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 9:42pm

    Haha! In my opinion, these will never get old.

  • 65 63
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 5:14pm

    this one gives me hope, TFLN

  • 60 55
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 11:55am

    12:47... BAC stands for Blood Alcohol Content and i think this post is hilarious!!!

  • 62 60
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 10:56pm

    one time i microwaved a kitten

  • 64 65
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 5:28pm

    TFLN is kind of off and on.

  • 71 84
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 6:55pm

    texts starting with "you were so drunk/high..." = not funny. theyre getting old. like yo momma jokes

  • 61 76
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 10:33pm

    But it isn't written on paper...it's written on the interwebs.

  • 59 74
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 8:13pm

    Agreeing with 6:55 "You were so wasted blah blah blah, ahh way to keep it classy" It's hilarious EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME

  • 59 77
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 11:21pm

    i didnt know west virginia had microwaves?

  • 62 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 21, 09 at 9:59pm

    Your opinion isn't worth the paper it's written on...

  • 63 86
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 12:47am

    what do you really need to calculate when you are using BACs; the leanght of them? were you trying to use them as a vector, and why are you cloning when your drunk? so unfair that you can play with bacteria artificial chromosomes when your drunk and i can't even find a research lab that will let me play with them when i'm sober

  • 51 83
    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 22, 09 at 1:01am

    How do I used microwave?