Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
