You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
