Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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