But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
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I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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