walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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