...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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