So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
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I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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