I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
FUCK WHALES
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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