then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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