btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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