It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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