she woke up with a sticky ear
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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