Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
