Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
