I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize