So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
