I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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