i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
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