My hand turned me down
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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