i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
