i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My vagina just recognized that song.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
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