He is an equal opportunity slut.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
