if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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