my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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