I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
