Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
