So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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