If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
