I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
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