AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
All I want is dick and wine.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
