Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
