I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
